im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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