I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
