Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
