Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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