I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
