Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
