i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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