i was born a porn star she said
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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