You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
