good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
