i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
