This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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