An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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