And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
