I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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