i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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