you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
