i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize