All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
