we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
