I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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