thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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