I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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