Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
