I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
