called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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