He is such a slut. More and more my type.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
