That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
