if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
