I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
