NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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