i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize