In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
