we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
