Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
