My nipple is on Facebook.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
