New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
