i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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