dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im holly from the hills drunk
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
