that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
