i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
