she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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