ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
