I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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