On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
