His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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