Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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