Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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