I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
