Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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