You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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