Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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