Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
