I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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