just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
