dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
