your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It's just like the Real World with babies
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
