I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
