I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
