Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
